What he says VS What she hears

Relationships are perfectly delightful creatures. They grow and eventually die just like everything else. It's just a matter of time really. I thought I might discuss one of the fun fun middle sections.

He Says : You're amazing but you're not the one for me.
She hears: You really aren't that amazing. Maybe amazingly annoying. Why are you still standing here?

He says: I really don't want to stop doing things with you.
She hears: I don't really want to cut off any possibility that my penis can enter some part of your body.

He says: We should think about it longer.
She hears: I am going to think about it until I find someone better.

He says: I'm probably a dick for feeling (insert feeling here)
She hears: I'm a dick but it's easier for me to call myself a dick than for you to call me one.

He says: I really can't see us doing anything long term.
She hears : Yeah, it was great but I am pretty sure I found someone better to screw around with. Won't cut the cord until I am sure though.

He says: I wasn't flirting with her.
She hears: I was flirting with her and now that you know I have to find a way to clean up what I was doing.

He says: Oh that crazy bitch? I barely know her. She is such a skank.
She hears: Yeah I still hit it. In fact I probably have in recent history. Remember when I told you I had to go out of town to help someone instead of keeping my plans with you? Yeah....sorry about that.

He says: I don't want to hurt you anymore.
She hears: It's easier to say this than admit I've lost interest.

He says: I'm too busy.
She hears: I've lost interest.

He says: I'll call you back.
She hears: I've lost interest.

He says: You're over-reacting
She hears: Thank God. If you get upset I can tell everyone else you had a crazy spell and not that I was a jackass.

She says: Screw this noise.
She says: Go ahead. Do better.
She says: If you think you can do better then I know I surely can.
She says: I also have a no backsies policy.
She says: If you will excuse me, I am off to have a glass of wine.