At some point, I stupidly decided that I needed more exposure to things and planned an excursion to Costa Rica to visit the Talamanca BriBri. I will talk more about them later as they are a blog and a half alone. The purpose of this blog is to talk about everything else that is trying to kill me in this country.
1. The flight: Anyone who knows me knows I hate flying. I REALLY hate flying. I would rather drive eleventy billion miles than fly. I know all the statistics that tell me flying is safer than driving but tell that to the people on the 6 flights out of three million that have crashed with Delta Air (Yes, I looked up the statistics. Yes, I know that makes me paranoid. No, I don't need help unless you have some recreational Xanax you'd like to offer.)
Things I should never hear on a flight: "Sorry folks but it's going to be extra turbulent because the volcano is extra active today."
Wait, What?
Which brings me to point two, which is
2. The active freaking Volcano: This pretty much covers it in one sentence. I've spent entirely too much time around an active volcano. The tourists are like "Yay Lava Flows!" and I'm like "Why are we standing here still? Do you people understand Lava is H-O-T? Are you all familiar with the concept of Pompeii? Google it, I'll wait.....oh wait..."
Which brings me to point three
3. The Internet: The internet here is owned by an evil corporation called ICE. They own the cell phones, they own the pay phones, they own the internet. If you want to use their service, they will own you. I am pretty sure that somewhere in the Spanish Small Print is "And we will be allowed the blood of your first born". Also, it only covers 70% of the country. Everyone guess which 30% of the country I've been in frequently? At least the surrounding area is beautiful and full of nature which brings me to point 4....
4. There's a snake in my god damned shower, as evidenced above. Also, my shower is outside. Also, There's a GOD DAMNED SNAKE THAT IS HALF AS LONG AS ME IN MY SHOWER.
If you all will excuse me, I'm running low on battery and need a bottle of the delightful local drink that I am pretty sure is made with sugar, melon, and diesel fuel.
Friday, November 26, 2010
There's a snake in my shower
Posted by TruthisStranger at 8:35 AM
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