There will be no moshing during Mr. Brightside. Who makes a mosh pit at a Killers concert? (the literal answer to this is drunken 14 year old males, the figurative answer to this is idiots) Also, if you mosh/punch my 300 something pound companion, you will most likely get an elbow to the face.
I will punch you in the kidney if you injure me during your crowd surfing adventure.
There is not enough fine 2009 vintage squeeze bottle wine in the whole park for anyone to sit through a rainy friday Lollapalooza festival. (Fortunately for me, There was enough Depeche mode for me to sit through the apocolypse if neccessary.)
To the chicks sitting on someone's shoulders: Yes, people are aiming at you with bottles. Do you know why? Because you are blocking the screen and the view of the stage.
To the dudes sitting on someone's shoulders: Yes, People are aiming at you with bottles. Do you know why? Because every guy that weighs more than you thinks you are some sort of a pussy. (Note, I was not aiming at or throwing anything at anyone generally. I have been to lolla before and have never seen this particular custom.)
To the angry man at the Snoop Dogg concert: I am sorry that you hate this C-Rap. I will be very glad when the real music starts as well. Unfortunately, I couldn't hear how crappy the concert was over your shouting every word of every song. You do realize there were about 10 other concerts going on around the park right? Pretty sure Lou Reed was somewhere guy.
Do not wear your cutest outfit/newest shoes/anything of value to lollapalooza. Friday's weather took out so many adorable summer dresses and flip flops that even I had to feel bad for some of the poor bedragled people.
Drunken people at Kidpalooza are funny. Drunken people watching a band called Secret Agent 23 Skidoo are even more funny. Having Lolla staff remind people that Kidpalooza is for kids is nearly priceless. (A quick count showed that there was more beer at Kidpalooza than actual kids)
Everything in South Lolla smells vaguely of urine and shame.
*random serious note* People who throw things at the homeless are douchebags.
Random things heard at Lollapalooza this year:
1. Do you know Americans invented trade? Before we built the canal in South America, there was no way to trade on the other side of the world.
2. Time traveling Bill Clinton (I have no idea what that conversation was about. I am half hoping it is a band name)
3. Time is money! Start the human sacrifice! ( wait, what?)
4. The bridge to no where would have saved us 24 hours because it would have crossed the international dateline!
5. Anarchy is neither created or destroyed! (this was technically heard on the L)
*edited to add worst pick up line ever* "You look just like my roomie except for you are totally skinnier than her.
All in all, it was a pretty good three days. I have to admit that I didn't know as many bands as I did at the previous years' lollapalooza festivals this time around. The food was fantastic and almost reasonably priced this year. I learned that Maui Wowi smoothies have some sort of crack or meth like substance in them and I will probably need some sort of rehab to deal with that addiction now. Can't wait until next year. If you folks will excuse me, I am off to collapse.
